Book Report: The Tao of Poop

One of my best friends sent me this book not that long after she spent almost two weeks at my house getting me through the hump of my husband going back to work. We had many conversations about how nothing went as planned for me and how difficult pregnancy, nursing and taking care of a newborn were and how unprepared for all of it I felt. I thought I would be spending my pregnancy getting comfortable with the changes in my body and doing art work and being quietly joyful about the coming baby. I wanted to enjoy my pregnancy just like I planned on enjoying being with my little one. Instead I threw up violently and ate for three and tried to stubbornly stick to all the plans I made in the first easy 8 weeks of pregnancy when life was so much easier. Through all the misery of throwing up daily sometimes every hour, I came eventually after it was all over to see it as a gift. It was great preparation at least physically for birth and surrender especially once I let go of all my birth plans and pregnancy expectations. But like any hard lesson I got to replay it with each new aspect of motherhood. I've had to surrender a lot and mourn my dreams/my delusions which all seemed so reasonable because I read tons of books, blogs, etc. What does this have to do with the Tao of Poop? The first chapter is about expectations and how they make you miserable... But it is not just expectations that make one miserable but comparison and judgement. My expectations didn't happen in a vacuum, I had a friend who gave birth 10 weeks before me, I had people constantly telling me about their experiences, I had a childbirth class or two not to mention book upon book, I had the legacy of the women in my families' births to lead me to a sense of failure as if there was some right way to do things. The Tao of Poop is about coming to terms with your expectations, letting go of self-judgement which also tends to translate into judgement of others and realizing there is no such person as the perfect mother. After each chapter where the author talks about her own trials she gives you exercises to do to reflect on your own life and example of other mothers coming to terms with motherhood. It is a super short book and I will admit I never do the exercises in any book just read and reflect. I had already come to the opinion that motherhood would be a spiritual journey for me after having to let go of my dreams of what I thought it would be like to coming to terms with what it is in the moment and this book helped remind me to let go.  It reminded me that everyone is different and there is no one right way. I'm planning on reading more memoir like books about motherhood, so I can retain a perspective of being in the moment listening to my child's needs and my own and so I can remember that there is no one right way.