Oral Defensiveness

I've just found another label for my breastfeeding experience. Finding labels like this are helpful because it says I'm not alone. I've found this website by MOBI Motherhood International that talks not only about low milk supply which isn't part of my issues at all but also about other reasons babies won't nurse.

I feel like through writing and editing my story to submit to a mothering website I've healed a lot. I rewrote my breastfeeding story 4 to 5 times, posted one to this blog (a very chaotic early version) and submitted one to the the mothering site I read the most (I will eventually post that one to this blog). Each new version of my story made me feel better, less sad, and less attached to my expectations as my writing became more organized I became less unhappy with my lot. Breastfeeding was about me and my image of what it meant to be a new mother. My child is thriving on my breast milk and she don't want no breast with it. More specifically her oral defensiveness has some real biological basis behind it. Breastfeeding means not being able to breathe to my baby and also being uncomfortable. Now that I've given up on her taking milk from the breast, I've been able to really get in touch with my baby's needs.

I'm finding other ways to soothe my baby, become attached, and feel like a mother.  My kiddo 'cause of her issues has a lot of gas and also because babies just have gas since their digestive systems are so new. I've learned some massage techniques and other techniques to help my baby through her painful gas bouts from my chiropractor.

The first technique is to put Kiddo face down across both my legs so that her tummy is hanging down between my legs and then to gently move my legs together and apart never squashing her tummy.  It is similar to the movement she makes when she arches her back, but in the opposite direction. My baby really likes this.

The 2nd technique is to massage her tummy. First find baby's rib cage then from below that in a reverse "C" (basically following the path of the intestine) starting at the top right, making light circling motions with two fingertips. The pressure on my own arm is just enough to tell my fingers are touching me i.e. barely press to the point one isn't pressing at all.

Another massage technique my chiropractor taught me for my baby who she has been adjusting starting a week after baby was born, is to make circling motions with two fingertips along either side of babies spine especially in spots that have tensions (are hard). Yet again the pressure is so gently that an adult would feel it just as a light touch on the skin.

It is nice to have tips to help soothe my baby. I can tell Kiddo really enjoys the massage techniques because she really relaxes into them.

I keep needing to remind myself especially since it is unconscious that motherhood is about my baby's needs not mine.  My image of what it means to be a good mother may not be what my baby needs. A good mother listens to her baby and learns. I'm getting there. Listening is hard especially since baby speaks a totally new language.